Hi! i'm just an ordinary christian dude who has passion in Architecture, Environmental sustainability, and Travelling Photography. Also hitting on events especially Conferences and having personal stands and philosophy in this blog. Currently 2nd year Bachelor in Architecture USM Penang, Malaysia. All opinions here are just 2 sens of mine and not in any offensive means. You could follow me at Facebook or Twitter =) Welcome and have a nice day ahead! God Bless.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Mirror Principle-John C Maxwell

I read through almost a third of John C Maxwell's "Winning With People" book, and yes it took a very long time for me to read it, it is not like any fiction books that you can just imagine how the scenes of the story rolls and imagine yourself in it, THIS book is TOTALLY different. It really made me think the whole life around by just one page of words. So it took me a whole day just to figure some points of what maxwell pointed about human relations, and i got hit by his words so badly and the time seems to flow so slow and calm when i read it words by words, so many things to reflect on with a sentence of words.
What is this book about?
Many authors publish self help books with the topics of digging out your potential talents, managing your abilities, having a leadership core value, but maxwell pointed out one thing, RELATIONSHIPS, as the foundation of achievement, and the few chapters at the head is about you yourself.
Mirror Principle?
After reading around 10 chapters in his book, this chapter, which appeared as the first one, seems to be the one that gave me the heaviest slap in my face. It says that the first person we must examine is ourselves...
Coping with difficult people is always a problem, especially if the
difficult person happens to be you.

The whole chapter is about yourself, everythings starts from you, yea i was once thought that too, but maxwell went in way deeper into it, you would not learn to build healthy friendship with others in long terms if you do not know how to love yourself. You have to be your own best friend first before reaching out for others. He said that, by the way you manage to gain relationships around and maintain them, you are able to see how efficeint you are.
The greatest lesson i have learnt
In this chapter, there's this sub topic called self honesty. Maxwell did give me a very solid statement about his words, if you are disliking or hating someone for a problem or whatever you are not seeing eye to eye at, then it actually roots from your own problem. Everyone is not perfect of course, if you have a problem with someone, then obviously some personality of yourself that collided with his or hers, and in this moment, you need to forgive him without intention and move on.

He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass
George Herbet.

The greatest deal is to focus on yourself, not the situation, i mean emotional part, you do not hear what people say about you if you believe in yourself. If you would let these little insignificant comments shift your focus, i am afraid that many parts of life you could not go through easily. It is not what happens to you, it is what happens in you the most matters. I often dislike people's action and that has obviously proved that i am disliking some parts of me, it is true, that why some people can be smiling charmingly when they faces all these obstacles of thoughts, because they love themselves and the person they are. Sometimes i dislike people of being Egoistic, and later when i check up the other chapter of his book about conversations, well, just to say, i am ego.
Critics see other people as critics too,
Trusting person sees others trustworthy,
caring person sees others compassionate..

So who you are today? if you find a lot of problem dealing with relationships and simple communication, then it might be some parts of you that you dislike yourself anyways.

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